...luxury authentic tantra massage and fantasy!... beautiful, h.t, fit, doctorate. heightened state of ecstasy! ...

About

Greetings!

Inviting the mature, refined,  affluent gentleman   to an exciting   world of intense relaxation and rejuvenation. You will feel as if you have had a mini-vacation within a very short period of time.  In this, you will also have residual benefits. This experience can help you if you are having writer's block, planning goals, generating ideas to grow your business, rejuvenate you as a result of burn out, and help you tap into positive energy to help your relationships.  It is a mind-body extravaganza!

I use special techniques to relax you and realign and charge the seven (7) energy centers of the body. That will enable you to immediately feel a shift.  One happy person, after a session, screamed how ALIVE he felt. He has since indulged frequently.  Another said: “first session was absolutely incredible and the last time was one of the best experiences of my life!!!”  Another exclaimed: “I have been massaged by the best, but I have NEVER been massaged like THAT before!”  Another said “I felt very safe, relaxed, and loved during the experience!”  Still, another said after  being a twenty (20) plus year smoker, once he started taking sessions and feeling wonderful, the smoking became antithetical, which prompted him to give up smoking  (through patch, and gradually over the course of one year).  So, a wonderful shift can occur for you!  All one needs is a shift, in the right direction, put one foot in front of the other, and off you go!

Experience this unique and effective treatment for yourself!  I am well trained and certified in Swedish massage, and other modalities. I am certified in holistic treatments, including chakra energizing and realignment.  I am certified in hypno-therapy .  The session is a mind/body extravaganza.  The massage is an integral component of our objectives.  I deliver a thorough therapeutic massage (not parlor quality massage), where we work layer by layer, progressively getting deeper to relieve tension.  Can’t go too deep too fast because the muscle will think it is under attack and seize up,  thereafter  won’t let us in again. Also many people do not realize it, but when the muscles are tight, does not flow freely through the tissues to whisk away toxins and waste products that the cells constantly emit.  So massage is a very beneficial treatment.  I am present, physically and mentally during your massage, that is, I don’t think about what I had for  breakfast   yesterday, or my to-do list after the session.  My  awareness  is  on  you the entire time, and I vigilantly look after your well-being the entire time.  

Fantasies are also on the menu:  seduction, nurse/patient, boss/worker, cross-dressing, teacher/student, dominance, fetishes and more!  We will incorporate dialogue, clothing and fine details to bring your psycho-drama to life.  If you are not sure what your fantasy is, I am happy to be your Sherpa   guide.  To uncover yours, think about what experiences you may have had when you were coming of age (12-13 years), because puberty awareness   is new, exciting, so certain experiences can latch on and cement)…ask yourself: were there any experiences that may have seemed  innocuous at the time, but now, they bring excitement and pleasure to you, and have imprinted deeply into your subconscious.  

I am very friendly, empathic,  personable   and   have a positive out-look. All these factors are important because the recipient will feel it through the touch. This will enable us to enter the portal of the magic world mentioned above.

I am very attractive, multi-faceted: athletic--run, swim--musically inclined, play chess, well-traveled, intellectually curious, great sense of humor, and a people-person. I also have a doctorate degree.

Call now to begin our journey!  YOU WILL LOVE IT!

Warmly,

Lauren

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TIP OF THE MONTH!

WHY DO THE BRITISH DRIVE ON THE ‘WRONG’ SIDE OF THE ROAD?

     Because that’s the way they used to drive their coaches.  Passengers used to enter coaches on the right, women first, men second.  The coachman would thus sit on the right to be nearer the man to hear any instructions.  However, he drove the carriage on the left side of the street so his whip wouldn’t strike any pedestrians.

     In most other countries, gallantry took a back seat to public safety and the men entered first, keeping the coachman on the left, and the coach on the right.  When automobiles joined coaches on the street, they naturally stayed on the same side.

     The other notable left-side drivers were the Swedes, though they made the switch to the right side in September, 1967.

     And speaking of things that seem a little backwards to American drivers, why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?  Because originally, a parkway was a road that ran through a park, while a driveway was a circular road by which we drove past a house.

WHY ARE THERE 13 IN A BAKER’S DOZEN?

To keep bakers out of jail. Because of the way rolls, buns and cakes were cooked in the 15th century--in three rows of four--they were sold in batches of a dozen.  

     The goods were fashioned by hand, of course, and bakers found that they could make them smaller without the customer being any the wiser.  Who could tell the difference, after all, when 12 items were stuffed into a bag?

     Well, enough people apparently could tell, because London lawmakers passed laws which standardized the weight of these goods.

     Stiff fines and jail sentences were imposed if the total were off, so bakers often took the precaution of throwing in an extra roll or cake to make absolutely sure they made the required weight.  Hence, 13 to a baker’s dozen.

WHY IS ‘BRAND NEW’ BETTER THAN ‘NEW’?

     Because, quite literally, it is so new that it hasn’t been used yet...and can’t be used yet.  In fact.  It’s too hot.

     ‘Brand’ in this case does not refer to the identity of the manufacturer (i.e., a ‘new brand’ of cereal, detergent, whatever).  It means the same thing as a burning piece of wood or metal.  That is, it’s fresh-from-the-fire new, like newly blown glass or a red-hot, newly forged sword or horseshoe.  Until the early 20th century, only items made in ovens or open fires were described as ‘brand new’.

     In German, the equivalent expression is funkel-nagelneu, or ‘spark-nail-new,’ while the French say tout battant newf, or ‘fresh from the anvil’.  And in four of his plays, Shakespeare referred to things as ‘fire-new’.

WHY DO BIRDS FLY IN A ‘V’ FORMATION?

     They don’t do it to keep from losing members or to present a daunting figure to potential predators.

     The reasons are purely aerodynamic: The ‘V’ formation helps them to stay aloft.  The flapping of the lead bird generates an updraft that helps the second row of birds change position regularly, giving each bird a chance to ‘coast’, and allowing them to increase their effective range by 60 to 70 percent.

     The technique works with airplanes as well, which is one reason long-range bombers often flew in this formation during World War 11.

WHO SAYS MT. EVEREST IS THE WORLD’S TALLEST MOUNTAIN?

     No one.  Mt. Everest may be the world’s highest mountain, but it’s not the tallest.  At 33,476 feet, Mauna Kea on the island of Hawaii is over 4, 000 feet taller.  However, the mountain’s base is underwater, allowing MT.  Everest to rise higher above sea level.

     Actually, geologists aren’t aren’t sure that Everest is even the highest mountain on earth.    Recent satellite measurements place Everest at 29,028 feet and its fellow Himalayan peak, K-2, at 29,030 feet.  Snow cover, erosion, and the fact that the earth is still pushing the mountains skyward make exact measurement difficult. 

WHO DECIDED ‘A-1’ MEANS THE VERY BEST?

     Lloyd’s of London was the organization that gave us the label. 

     When the insurance consortium was just being organized, as a marine insurance association, it was necessary to take careful note of the condition of the ship and its contents, in case any claims were made against either.  The ships were awarded a letter grade, with ‘A’ being the highest, while the cargo was given a number, with ‘1’ being the best.  Thus, a ship in A-1 condition was absolutely perfect.  When Lloyd’s branched out into other kinds of insurance, the classifications continued and spread into other walks of life.

     Incidentally, the firm was not named after a founder or investor, but after Edward Lloyd, owner of a coffeehouse in London that insurers regularly patronized.

WHY IS ‘SCOTLAND YARD’ IN LONDON?

In the 10th century, as a gesture of friendship, a Scottish king was given land in London with the provision that he build a castle and live in it a portion of each year.

Seven centuries later, when England and Scotland became united under a common ruler, the land was turned over to London authorities.  It was divided into Greater and Middle Scotland Yard, and the London police took up residence there in 1829.

Today, Scotland Yard refers to both the metropolitan police that’s based there, as well as its many local stations.

WHO INVENTED THE ‘TOAST’ & DOES IT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH BREAD?

     The Romans...and a great deal.  

The custom of offering up a salutation before drinking came from the ancient Roman practice of dropping a small square of toast into an alcoholic beverage to soak up any lingering sediments before drinking.  The salutation was offered while the bread did its work;  These so called ‘toast speeches’ were kept brief, however, lest the toast sit there too long and begin breaking up. 

It was custom for the host not only to present this toast but also to take the first sip in order to prove to his guests that the drink wasn’t rancid or poisoned.     

DOES AN APPLE A DAY KEEP THE DOCTOR AWAY?

Afraid not.

The average apple provides just .0004 ounces of vitamin C--one-fifth as much as an orange.  And it contains only .07 ounces of dietary fiber.  The largest single ‘ingredient’ of an apple is sugar; .7 ounces of it.

So where did the saying come from?  It began in the early 19th century by American apple growers.  Highly religious communities blamed the apple for the loss of Paradise, so farmers came up with the slogan in what proved to be a successful attempt to boast sales.  They also published apple cookbooks, figuring that there would be less resistance to apples if they were hidden in pies, cider, sauce and caramel.  Later, apple pies became linked to American patriotism.

But apples eaten with the skin on has value as roughage to help move waste more easily through the colon.  So in that regard, the more regular you are, the better.

WHAT DOES BEING ‘THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND’ HAVE TO DO WITH DRINKING?

The expression “Three sheets to (or ‘in’) the wind’ as a description of drunkenness originated in the late 18th century among sailors.

A sheet is not a sail, as one might suppose, but is short for ‘sheet-line’, a rope or chain which is attached to the corner of a sail and is used to set its angle.  If three or more of these sheets are loose, then the sails will flap about and they won’t be able to control the ship, which will plow willy-nilly through the seas--just like a drunken sailor through the streets of a port city.

Linguists aren’t certain whether the ‘wind’ refers to the sea breeze or is short for the windlass, the winch used to wind or unwind the sheets.

WHAT IS A ‘SON OF A GUN’?

The phrase ‘son of a gun’ also originated on ships in the early 18th century, when women were allowed to accompany their husbands or new boyfriends on long sea voyages.  During such voyages, mothers gave birth to their ren behind a canvas curtain near the midship gun.  If the paternity of the newborn was in doubt--and often it was, as many of the women were prostitutes--the was facetiously registered in the log as the ‘son of a gun’.

WHY IS A FALSE CLUE CALLED A ‘RED HERRING’?

     The expression is at least 200 years old, and it was derived from the use of herring--which becomes red when smoked--to train dogs to follow a scent.  The fish was placed in a sack and dragged through the woods or streets behind a horse, and was used to teach the animals to focus on their quarry.

     Unfortunately, escaped prisoners would make a point of getting red herrings to toss here and there as they fled, distracting the dogs that were sent after them--which is how a red herring came to mean something misleading.

     By the way, English criminals gave us another ‘misleading’ expression.  In the 18th century, wealthy men were robbed by thugs who first tugged their wools wigs down so they couldn’t see.  From this we get the expression ‘Pulling the wool over one’s eyes’.

WHY ARE MANHOLE COVERS ROUND?

    Or should we say, personhole covers.  Whatever you call them, these flat plates are round  rather than square or rectangular so that they can’t fall through the opening of the hole when they’re being removed.  A rectangular lid could accidentally be dropped edgewise, but a lip inside the hole prevents the circular cover from fitting through--no matter how it’s turned or moved.

THE STATUE OF LIBERTY

The face was that of Charlotte Bartholdi, the mother of designer/sculptor  Frederic Auguste Bartholdi.  The sculptor’s girlfriend, Jeanne-Emilie, was the model for the statue’s arms and body.  Gustave Eiffel, who later built the Eiffel Tower, built the statue’s metal skeleton building.  Constructed entirely in France, the statue was packed in 214 cases for its journey to the United States

When it was decided that the French would give a gift to the United States in honor of the 100 anniversary of our independence, Bartholdi sailed to New York to search for a suitable site.  When his ship entered the harbor, he knew he had to look no further.  The statue replaced an old fortress, Fort Wood, which was located on Bedloe’s Island.

The Statue of Liberty is also soaked in symbolism.  The torch means a light that shows the path to liberty.  On her head, she wears a crown with seven spikes, which represents the seven (7) continents.  The tablet of laws she holds means the need for laws to help protect freedom.  On the cover of the tablet says in roman numerals: July 4, 1776.  On her ankle is a broken chain, and ax, which represents freedom from tyranny and oppression.  The robes were the common clothing of Rome in ancient times, and is also depicted on  the Roman goddess of liberty. 

CAN YOU GET A SUNTAN IN THE SHADE?

You sure can.  And also on an extremely cloudy day.  The sun gives off ultraviolet rays--radiation so powerful, it literally cooks the skin and gives us a suntan.  Clouds stop visible light from getting through to us, but they barely make a dent in ultraviolet rays.  Even on a heavily overcast day, 80 percent of the rays still get through.  And if you’re sitting under an umbrella on a beach or beside a pool, watch out:  The sand and concrete will reflect nearly half of the ultraviolet light, giving you a tan on the soles of your feet!

Incidentally, oxygen absorbs ultraviolet radiation and is transferred into ozone.  The ozone layer won’t let ultraviolet rays through to us; however, if chemicals in the atmosphere eat up the ozone faster than it can be manufactured, we’ll fry.

WHY DO COWBOYS WEAR HIGH HEELS?

Believe it or not, it has nothing to do with being macho.  Cowboy boots are made that way to keep the boot from slipping through the stirrup of a saddle.  And the stitching on the sides isn’t merely decorative:  It helps to strengthen the boot and give it extra wear.

Though high heel shoes originated hundreds of years ago with men who rode horses for a living, they were adapted by the general public for one reason and one reason only:  to keep people’s feet out of the muck, whether it was a gentleman walking to his carriage or a butcher slogging through .

In the 18th century, as drainage improved, men gave up wearing high heels altogether.  Women continued to wear them, largely for the extra height it gave them.

WHY DOES SKIN WRINKLE WHEN YOU TAKE A BATH?

Well, if you take a really long bath, you’ll get wrinkled from old age!  But even if you don’t sit there quite that long, your skin will wrinkle for another reason entirely:  It’s expanding.  As you soak, your epidermis (outer layer of skin) absorbs water through the pores, causing it to bulge.  Though the skin is expanding all over your body, you only notice it on your hands and feet because the skin there is relatively hard and rough.  As a result, it doesn’t expand as uniformly as the other, more pliable sections of your body.

Naturally, the hotter the bath, the more your pores will open and the greater your skin will drink up water.  In any case, once you leave the tub, it takes less than an hour for the water to evaporate or be absorbed into the underlying layers of the skin.

WHY IS THE ACADEMY AWARD CALLED OSCAR?

Simple--It was named after someone’s Uncle Oscar.  The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was founded by 30 leading filmmakers and actors on May 4, 1927, to find ways to improve the artistic quality of films and honor those who did.

At the group’s first official meeting, in the banquet hall at the Biltmore Hotel in Hollywood, director Cedric Gibbons sketched out a design for an award on a tablecloth.  That became the model for the Academy Award, which was first handed out in May, 1929.

For the first few years the award was simply referred to as “the Statuette”.  However, in 1931, Academy librarian Margaret Herrick noticed one of the statuettes on a desk and remarked, “Why, he looks like my Uncle Oscar!” Those who heard her comment took to calling the award Oscar, and the name stuck.