Valet Parker

You want to know my sign? I’m a sign from God so hurry over to book me. Especially if you want to experience something rapturous. Wink, wink.

Why hello! It’s me, your hostess with the mostest, the original double entendre, Valet Parker.

I know this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you how alluring and beautiful I am and why I’m not like all the other girls, but that honestly seems monotonous. I’d rather be honest and tell you I’m an acquired taste. Although I am cute and curvy and inked and just the right amount of mischievous I’m also the perfect woman for you if you just want to nerd out and enjoy sarcastic remarks and inappropriate gifs. In other words, I’m totally bodacious but yet hilarious and super humble if you can’t already tell. I’m also extremely passionate about not starving to death, but I am not cool enough to eat sushi if I was going to die from starvation.

In case you’re wondering, I look fantastic in leather and am quite the cunning linguist when it comes to in-depth conversations and other things, if you catch my drift.

I make the perfect companion for a night out on the town, the ideal lucky charm if you want to gamble, or perhaps you’d like a quiet dinner with a side of something sweet to go, wink-wink.

Alternatively, maybe you’d rather skip the appetizer, and we take it to the room, and once the door closes, our Vegas escapade begins.

I know you’re just sitting there reading this peculiar bio, thinking about how hot nerds are wild behind closed doors, and you know what they say about girls with glasses. I have to tell you you’re not wrong. So why are you still reading this? I know it must be awkward to have pitched a tent from an introduction. Let me help you with that head-over to my encounters page and peruse and then head to my contact form and fill it out. I promise you won’t be sorry.

Xo

Valet Parker

Interests

These are a few of my favorite things…

Restoring classic arcades

Thrifting for vintage toys and first edition books

Collecting vinyl figures

Comedy shows

Photography

Art shows

Classic Cars

Concerts

Expectations

*What is the proper etiquette for meeting you and ensuring we have a transcendent experience?

The proper etiquette for meeting me is to be complete and thorough when you fill out my contact form. Once that is done, and the screening is complete, we can set a date and time. Also, the better groomed you are and the fresher you smell, ensure we have that otherworldly experience you seek. Upon my arrival, I would appreciate my donation for my time sitting in the bathroom, on the counter in plain view. If I’m offering incall and you’re coming to me, then I expect my donation to be in clear view before you excuse yourself to shower. After that, we can embark on our adventure.