Donna Quixote - Innuendo About Windmills

About

***READ MY ENTIRE PROFILE BEFORE YOU CONTACT ME *** it is a constant work in progress. Just like me 😛

If you don’t contact me the way I request to be contacted I will respond in a way that I think is funny and you might cry and then I’ll think it’s hilarious.

Are you still reading? Ok… obviously you’re intrigued. Or really high.

I moved here in December from Chicago, and I’m an Asshole. Note the capital A.

I can be friendly, sensual, outgoing, loud (in many ways), a little quirky, a little girl next door, a little chaos, and a lot of spunk. I’m entirely a milf …and my pictures are as accurate as I can make all taken within the last 10 months. I do not host in my home because of , but I will find a place to provide comfortable accommodations for incall requests.

What’s the mommy damage you ask? I don’t have boobs, I’m still on the fence about getting them, but what you don’t see is the c section scar…it adds character…like the trait of a Disney villain. What I currently lack in a perfect body, I make up for with enthusiasm. As I say, looks 8 personality 12.

I am a whole experience, and am so GFE you’ll want to pay me to meet your family over the holidays. That said, if you’re simply looking for a blow and go, I’m not your girl. If you’re looking for that porn star ho, it’s not happening like that… I like to create a unique experience for each client, and believe creating a genuine connection is important to the client provider relationship. Some men just want to thrust into something wet and warm and could fuck a pie, (movies have led me to believe this is a thing?) when you connect with someone, you make love. It’s more than physical, it’s a I love just loving on people period. Mutual respect.

I’m a pleaser, and I’ve been told my mouth is good for more than monopolizing conversation.

I like to think of myself as a bit of a sensual therapist, or a modern geisha of sorts. I’m going to be extremely blunt with you though, so if you can’t handle honesty and you just want the little pushover that’s going to tell you whatever lie you want to hear, well I’m sorry that you got your panties in a bunch over your ego.

I prefer to keep the penis pool I swim in small. I attain regular clients, the adoration is mutual, but I will also jump back out of this game when I’m too high in demand. I am already busy as a mom, so my priority is to do the job I’m good at so that I am able to make a comfortable living and spend as much time with my as I can.

I don’t see everyone that contacts me. hence my screening process…the process of you doing excessive reading and responding in an intelligent manner. If you have no intelligence OR imagination, I don’t think I can adore you, and if I can’t adore you I don’t think I could spend time with you….or do anything else. Personality is key.

If someone left me a bad review it’s because he didn’t get his dick sucked, which means he wasn’t up to my standards. But if you are still reading and still want to meet me - you know, between the sarcasm and extreme length of idle prattle - hit me up my guy, because you might actually enjoy this eccentric, sarcastic, silly little snot that is going to care about you more than the basic earth dwellers out there. If this was too much for you to read, you’re really going to hate how much I talk in person.

FYI

-Appointments are highly preferred but you’re always welcome to shoot your shot boo lol.

-I like to start a season with a new client by rolling a blunt. If you smoke you’re welcome to smoke with me, but if you would rather I not smoke at all that’s ok too, I’ll just save it for myself after we part ways. Sometimes I will have another project to work on. Mostly because I’m not there to be groped and molested the second you meet me. I’m a person, not an object, and in return I will treat you as a person and not a paycheck. After I roll the blunt if we decide to keep hanging out, I accept cash or cash app. I am on birth control and regularly test, but if you wear condoms, and as a consenting adult you ever expect sexy time? You should bring a condom. Dead ass. Who goes hoping to fuck someone and isn’t prepared themselves? I don’t know your size, and your lack of preparedness isn’t in my budget Boy Scout.

Prices:

$400/1 hr
$500/1.5 hr
$700/2 hrs

special requests and deals can be discussed while setting an appointment. Tips and gifts are always appreciated and will probably earn you priority in future scheduling and consideration, Because awww nobody ever gets me stuff and it’s so nice 🥰 it’s really not mandatory though.

For the safety of everyone, don’t just message me because you like sampling escorts like they’re thin or thick sliced turkey at the deli. I have a particular skill set and truly enjoy my job. My personality and scarce openings are pretty good at separating the wheat from the chaff.

****FAQ****

Dead ass, if you ask me these I’m going to assume you’re illiterate and offer you remedial reading lessons instead. Actually, if you are illiterate though no judgment because it’s a more prevalent and not commonly discussed issue in the United States among adults than you think. Ijs.

1. CAN I SEE YOU NOW? ARE YOU AVAILABLE?

Is my profile marked available? Then yeah, I’m available, but you still need to contact me the right way. And I’ll still either need a few minutes to get ready, and I’m always late so if you want me somewhere on time just give me a time 15 minutes earlier than you really want.

2. ANY HARD NO’S?

Yeah…do not under any circumstance attempt to penetrate my anus in any way shape or form for any reason no matter how cool you think we are. It is painful. I do not like it. You are not the one man that can do it right. The Hershey Highway is a one way lane my dude. In particular No semis on the road. Dudes have already been all… it’s just the thumb! Can I lick it? Will you lick mine? No, no, no… it’s not judgment on you…or I don’t know maybe I am judging you because if it’s not ouch it’s 🤮

3. HELLO? ARE YOU STILL THERE? ARE YOU GOING TO ANSWER ME?

After all that? That unrealistic demand to put you first before everything else in my life. You expect me to hurry up and answer this person I don’t know? I got , I drive a LOT due to living an hour away from my incall locations (I try not to shit where I eat) I also am very guarded about taking time to myself, and I cannot fill another cup until I fill my own. I prefer to give my full attention to the person I’m with and moment I’m in. I know most people are in their phones and social media 24/7, it is the downfall and scourge of humanity, and I am not most people. Unless you have already blessed my wallet in some way, you are not the moment my dude. Btw, you don’t have to, but it really does help.

4. DID YOU RAISE YOUR PRICES?
Yeah, supply and demand are basic economics…I didn’t even study economics and I know that. If you’re not sure about the investment, just know that I’m totally worth it …not to mention adorable and humble. Or at least I’m honest and straightforward and funny. I have been told actually to raise them more. I feel good. I’m about making a modest living, and sometimes great guys make less money and sometimes really rich jerks can’t offer me enough.

5. HHR OR QUICK VISIT?
Sure. For the price of an hour. And I’ll talk the whole time probably. I’m definitely paid for my time and coming out because I’m delightful.

6. YOU DON’T LIKE TO BE EATEN OUT?’!?!

Ehh. It’s ok at best, but if it really gets you off and your dick is gonna be rock hard when you come back up for air I can do zombie position. (Where I just lay there and get eaten 😭)

If you have any other questions or even just a request **please know** I may not answer right away but I always answer. Emails I don’t get to very often, your best bet is to text.

I might have a short fuse at times of stress, but above all else, I live by the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have others do onto you.

Ok now we can do fun stuff.

How to Contact

DO NOT CALL ME UNLESS YOU ASK FIRST. I don’t care about your age, race, age or name. I also don’t want a picture of you unless I ask for it. I mean it. I will not schedule you. A good start to things is by letting me know if you want an incall or an outcall, and a general area you’re in. And finally, please explain why you would rather choose to fight (if to fight) one-hundred duck sized horses, or one horse sized duck.

Profile

• Based in: Pinehurst, North Carolina, United States
• Caters to: Women, Non-binary, and Couples
• Last active: Today
• Gender: Woman (She)
• Age: 37
• Body Type: Athletic but with mommy damage
• Height: 169 / 5'7"
• Ethnicity: Irish AF
• Cup Size: A
• Hair Colour: Brunette
• Shoe Size: 8.5
• Eye Colour: Grey

Availability

MON: Available

TUE: Available

WED: Available

THU: Available

FRI: Available

SAT: Available

SUN: Available

I’m a mom, so while I can make my schedule flexible I definitely prefer something scheduled. That said, I also usually need at least a little notice to make sure I have care and a shower.